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Tabloid Article Writer

Better world1 Comment on Tabloid Article Writer

Life is hard for tabloid journos, so I created a helpful Tabloid Article Writer to help them out, giving them some free time to spend at Lockdown Christmas parties at 10 Downing Street. Refresh the page for variations of the article.

As a driver, you are

enraged

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by the

laser-scorched

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condition of the roads in

lentil-munching

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Britain, and no wonder – a simple glance around you will quickly reveal

dinosaur-poop covered

dinosaur-poop
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roads all around (that these scroungers don’t pay for) while the

soft-touch, weak

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government is bending over backwards to

aid and abet

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these cyclists.
The

freeloading

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road lice

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don’t even pay road tax, and worse, have the

nerve

nerve
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to overtake you in your

Audi Q5

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leaving you stuck in the traffic they created.
We call on

Batman

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to immediately impose mandatory

full wet suits

wet suits
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on all

lycra-clad

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cyclists, with

them forced to appear on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, with <shudders> Ant & Dec

I’m a celebrity
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as punishment for any
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elite, middle-class, white

elite middle-class white
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cyclists who are caught flouting the law.

Tabloid Article Writer

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