Cream Tea Wars

This post will undoubtedly upset some people, but it’s important that the truth is made known. I would also urge you to read the full post, including the small print at the end.

For those unfortunate souls who might not know this, a cream tea is a light refreshment, consisting of a scone, with clotted cream, and jam on top. Some people (I’m looking at you, Cornwall, and especially at you, Jam_First!) do it wrong, and put the jam on first, with cream on top. A small, and deviant, minority add butter into the mix, but we’ll not say anymore about such despicable practices!

This has long been a contentious issue, with arguments about who is right, and who is wrong, being slung across the river Tamar. If you follow me on social media, you’d know I eat cream teas the correct way: cream first, jam on top, and I’ve been involved in many debates over which is the correct way.

This led me to try and discover the history of cream teas, to see if that would cast any light on the matter, and I’m rather glad I did. As it happens, it turns out cream teas were invented by the Benedictine monks from Tavistock Abbey, around the year 997.

We know the year, because that’s when the abbey was severely damaged by Viking raiders. The monks invented cream teas to help feed the workers who helped repair the abbey, and such was the popularity, that they continued offering it to travellers calling on the abbey, for years to come.

Obviously, Tavistock is in Devon, and the Devon-way of eating cream teas is therefore the correct way. I trust this will finally settle this issue, leaving cyclists free to debate the other important issues, such as the facts that Devon’s hills are better than those of Cornwall.

See also  Dynamo lights, again

Of course, if you don’t live in either Devon or Cornwall, then you may only contribute to the debate while visiting either county, ideally to cycle some of our routes, such as the gorgeous Camel Trail in Cornwall, or the Devon Coast To Coast route in Devon.

If you even think of putting butter on your cream tea, you’re (obviously) in serious need of help!

The small print

Needless to say, this post is light-hearted and is merely poking fun at an issue that is highly divisive, in a very friendly way. Both Cornwall and Devon are beautiful (even if Devon is slightly more beautiful) and you should definitely visit both counties. Especially Devon, because Devon is heaven! Oh, and because Devon has more miles of roads than all of Belgium, meaning there are a great many absolutely gorgeous and usually extremely quiet back lanes you can cycle on.
As for cream teas, if you’re actually going to fall out with someone just because they choose to eat a cream tea the wrong, Cornish way, then you need to seek urgent professional help!

3 thoughts on “Cream Tea Wars”

  1. Hahaha! This is great. I was looking for a good article on the cream tea wars to link into my very silly upcoming story about the Platinum Jubilee celebrations. Yours has made the cut! Publishing probably tomorrow.

  2. I live in Manchester and have been cycling all my life but a lot more in the last 3 years and most of my cycles over 20km involves a stop for cake and coffee or cream tea of which I enjoy the full compliment of butter , cream and jam . I could supply lots of photos . Tomorrow a group of us as going out for a platinum jubilee cream tea which includes a glass of bubbly and lots of cake in Lymm , Cheshire . We shall cycle from Urmston partly along the transpennine path to our destination and some will dress accordingly in blue and red . Cheers🥂🚴🏼‍♀️

    • Butter? BUTTER!!!?? I’m afraid butter has no place on any self-respecting Cream Tea, and not even the Cornish will stoop that low (and they put jam on 1st!)
      Also, have a wonderful ride!


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